To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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