dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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