Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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