At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
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