google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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