dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
