I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
