No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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