We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
