it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
