billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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