Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
