Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We are two peas in an std pod
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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