i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
