I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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