Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
