How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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