i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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