So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Randomize
