My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
