guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
