i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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