what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
