forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
