Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just found a bag of teeth...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
