how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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