p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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