It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
