She's JV to your varsity
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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