So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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