She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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