I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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