I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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