But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
