is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
