Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
