I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
