what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
