There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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