i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
high people should be assigned attendants
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
