She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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