the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
