i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Alive.
So much puke
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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