i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
