..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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