the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
