She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
