gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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