tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
