Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
